CHAPTER XXVI

REUNIONS

Though many friendships had been formed among anti-Communist fighters in local organizations or in political groups, many were broken in the course of this tragedy especially those formed between students and non-students. In contrast with normal times, when every political party was organized into groups along social or professional lines, the "illegal" anti-Communist groups drew from all classes. Social differences were submerged in the common fight for liberty. That is why a kind of amalgam resulted, in which all individual differences were melted away, leaving the only thing that mattered: the love of country and freedom. But through the forced submission of students and workers to the unmasking experiment, this bond was broken; so that now, when circumstances again made it possible for men to meet again, a way had to be found for re-establishing communication between them, even within the same cell.

Relaxed tensions following abandonment of the policy of re-education naturally did not bring the students back to participation in normal prison life. They were a species apart, and conscious of the profound differences that separated them from their fellow inmates. Thus there could be no contact between former friends, no approach of one to the other, no means of communication. The terrible mutation of re-education separated them as effectively as an impenetrable wall.

Breaching the wall could be attempted only by those who had been able to maintain their souls intact and had, furthermore, a compassion which they wished to share with those so desperately in need of it.

In order to make an initial approach even possible, one had to study and understand thoroughly the psychopathic phenomenon as a whole, and then try to make some aperture through which to reach the consciousness of the submerged personality without deepening his alienation. That was extremely difficult, and one had to proceed with great caution. I shall outline the way several close friends and I tried to do this.

At first, when the atmosphere was heavy with suspicion, we would approach the re-educated persons working with us and pretend to agree with them, just to get a conversation started. When the climate seemed ameliorated, we tried to re-establish their self-confidence, but make no reference whatever to unmaskings, not even through a remote hint. Gradually, slowly, the concepts and values that had been destroyed by the re-educators were revived by a kind of inverse process as individuals were shown an affectionate sympathy and understanding of their suffering, and were convinced of our desire to do the right thing. Many times such conversations had to be continued for a long time before we could ascertain just what guilt was searing the soul of an individual, but as soon as we were convinced that our interlocutor was prepared to bear it, we initiated a discussion which included him as a guilty party. We then could proceed to probe the true problem, that of determining who was really responsible, personally responsible, not only for the crimes committed but for the initiation of the fearsome experiment in the first place.

The majority of the students had had a faith so strong that it survived deep within them in spite of every attempt to destroy it, and when circumstances made it possible, it re-appeared as if from hibernation and proved to be the determining factor in recovery. We are concerned here only with students who were victims before becoming torturers or simple informers for the political officers. The other persons, who were sent into the prisons as tools of the Ministry of the Interior or the Communist Party itself, or who became willing stooges of the regime, must be left to the justice that inflexibly punishes crime.

The resurrection of the values which had been superseded by re-education was not in itself too difficult a task, as frequently a simple stimulation sufficed to impel the person back to his former equilibrium. But one real obstacle, very hard to surmount, was the haunting fear, locked into every fiber of the unmasked victim, that any day the re-education terror might be resumed. Life inside the prison did nothing to dispel that fear. To be convincing, an argument that the terror was ended had to be based on evidence from the outside, even from the course of political events outside the country.

To encourage a feeling that events might be changing things for us in prison, we used all kinds of information gleaned from newly-arrived prisoners, or through the good will of prison guards innocent of "class-struggle" theories. Under the circumstances, prisoners put their own interpretation on the various bits of information and fitted them to their own wishful thinking. Whether their interpretations did or did not correspond to reality did not worry us in the least. The essential thing was that they allayed the fears not only of the re-educated, but also our own, for we could never really dismiss from our own minds the possibility of an instauration of the Pitesti experiment, having observed the oscillation in prison of the various forms of terror from maximum to minimum and back, with no apparent relationship to political events in the country. So we cannot be blamed for thinking anything was possible.

In addition to alleviating that fear of the re-educated, we had somehow to destroy also their conviction that Communist Russia was invincible -- Russia where, as indeed in any country under Communist domination, one has no means of ascertaining what facts, if any, lie behind official claims and declarations. But the re-educated had lost all power of discernment. Their only truth was that which was decreed by the Communist Party's official paper, and the students had no other source by which to judge it. So, attempts to refute with reasoning and argument the lies that had paralyzed their ability to think were worse than useless. (This can also be seen in the Western world, where various co-existentialists, or "useful idiots," are products of the same intoxication. ) We found that a well-placed joke or witticism accomplished more good than an hour of argument.

A soul that has been submerged for years has more need for a warm word, we found, than for logical explanation; like a plant kept in the dark, it needs the sun more than nourishment.